They Call It The “Crawl” Stage

In my Philanthropy Communication class last semester, many tips and laws were pounded into my skull, but perhaps my favorite of these is Beth Kanter’s “crawl, walk, run, fly” theory of blog growth. We begin to blog because we have things to say, no? This is the crawl stage. I am crawling as we speak. I think my blog is perhaps missing a few appendages on which to crawl, however , since I currently lack any sort of camera other than my iPhone. Don’t get me wrong, in natural lighting that baby can take some seriously GORGEOUS shots, such as this one that I snapped THROUGH THE WINDOW OF A CAR in Arizona.

(Here is where I went to my Facebook to grab said picture and promptly got distracted by a wedding announcement. TOO YOUNG FOR BOTH OF THESE THINGS.)

Ok, I know it’s no Park & Cube shot, but c’mon, for a cell phone camera? I’m impressed. HOWEVER, I had an epiphany today while at work about the beautiful albeit dusty camera that has been sitting untouched in my parents coat closet for the last probably 5 years. It would be a perfect way to replace my missing blog appendages! And free! College kid likey the free!

Provided they let me borrow it, that is. No word from either of them yet, but cross your fingers if you have them.

Now, onto the news that actually concerns the purpose of said appendage-challenged blog. I am happy to report that all of the stuff I got from Hautelook’s Stila sale is amazing! If only I had a camera….

In the meantime, here’s a photo taken with the iPhone as well that shows you how well the lipliner makes red lipsticks pop.

I know, my pose makes me uncomfortable too. JUST LOOK AT MY LIPS. I grew up associating lipliner (and lipstick, for that matter) with my grandmother, so I wasn’t too sure what I was getting into here, but I love this stuff! This lipstick stayed on so long that it actually kinda stained my lips a pinkish color. I am proud to say I now associate lipliner and lipstick with people who like pretty lips. The lip color, by the way, is Covergirl’s Hot Passion. Yes, I know it’s Taylor Swift’s favorite Covergirl color. No, I don’t care. She’s probably made a metric butt-ton of money by getting all of the Youtube beauty gurus to say that, and for that, I am annoyed by her even more.

The foundation and concealer are almost too light for me, but they’ll be perfectly warm once the sucktacular winter depressive months hit the beautiful state of Iowa which I inhabit. I need to get out of this state so bad. Anybody from California want to take me in for the rest of my life and feed me chocolate and pad thai while I order more makeup from the Internet? Seriously though, I really want to move to California.

To close this post, I want to “officially” “announce” my “intent” to “blog” every Tuesday and Thursday and possibly another day in which I do nothing but Nails. I could call it Nothing but Nails. I guess that’s happening. If you have anything you’re dying to see (well, not see, as I lack a camera….I could spin a hearty yarn for you though?) on this creepy crawly of a blog, please leave me a comment. I was tickled pink to see two comments on my first post despite its considerable lack of coherency or original pictures. If you’re reading, I hope you stick around to see what becomes of me! Now cross your fingers that I get that camera.

In which I buy more stuff I don’t really need.

Online shopping is both the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve come to realize that what stops me from buying things online  is usually more that I’m too lazy to go find my credit card rather than I can’t…ahem…really afford it. Hautelook is one of the many online sites I frequent (I even have the app…) and it has managed to snag me twice in the last week (probably because it has my credit card information saved). Buying makeup online, in retrospect, is quite stupid, as it’s all nearly always unreturnable and you never really know what shade you’re getting. Further investigation on Amazon has me worrying that the shades I bought are going to turn me into a coffee cake-face. You know what I mean, really dark face, really pale body that doesn’t match? Kinda like the brown sugar top layer of coffee cake? Always reminds me of coffee cake, hence coffee cake-face. Someday I’ll come up with analogies that don’t involve food.

Hautelook’s Stila sale got me, and it got me good. I love Stila, but I don’t love the prices, so my experiences thus far have been with the eye shadow and eyeliner set I got from some Costco holiday deal a while back. Both are products I use on the daily, so I was on the Hautelook sale faster than brown on poop. Poop analogies or food analogies, people, you either get one or the other. Anyways, here’s what is coming to me in the mail.

Long Wear Lip Pencil – Passionate

I’m pretty into red lips lately and while I’ve figured out the best way to put the lipstick on, it seems to soak into my lips within a few hours. We’ll see if this stuff works, it’s got pretty good reviews on the interwebz so I’m hopeful! This retails for 18 smackers and was on sale for 6. Done and done-r.

Next up is the cake. Sigh.

Natural Finish Oil Free Makeup – Shade C Light/Neutral

I just don’t know about this stuff. I can say with the utmost certainty that this is the first time I’ve ever been afraid of cake. Retailing for a gut-whomping 38 bones (WHAT), I snagged it for a cool 18. On the plus side, lots of beauty gurus swear by this stuff so I’m not too scared of the formulation. Due to the Accutane my face has pulled a 180 from oily to dry, which makes sense seeing as it basically shrunk down all of the moisture delivery systems in my body (ahem). While the acne and most of the grease can kiss my left buttcheek, I do miss having a little bit of a dewy thang goin’ on.

Lastly and most worrisome on my list is this concealer, aka “the brown sugar topping.”

Cover Up Stick – Shade D

Mixed reviews on this stuff, ranging from “it was like putting pancakes on my face and zits” to “i swear by this stuff and would give up my firstborn for another tube.” Alliteration? Maybe, but you get the point. HOWEVER, it was only 5 bucks while retailing for 20, so if it sucks I’m not out too much money.

Let’s talk shades for a second. I have no clue if shade B sold out of the foundation but I have a horrible feeling that it should have been what I got. They have every shade A-F, except for B, and while cakeface may be bad, ghostface is worse (unless we’re talking rap). So I went with shade C for foundation and D in concealer, per their recommendation to go one shade darker in concealer.

I see  cake in my future. I’ll post pictures of the cakeage and let you know the results if I ever get the stupid stuff.

The second order that I placed from Hautelook was from tarte. I’ve never owned any tarte products so I have no knowledge a priori to contribute, but I’ve heard many a good thing. Here’s what I got.

Amazonian clay eye-shadow palette & Amazonian clay eyeshadow base-golden browns

I’m not worried about loving this at all. Those colors have me drooling already. The primer has supadupa reviews too so this is a purchase I’m pretty solid on. Also, this stuff retails for $58 and I paid $18. Suck it, Trebek.

That’s all for this week’s edition of “HELP I’m addicted to online shopping.” Tune back in next week as it all goes to shit and I lay crying in a pile of makeup!

-Mel